I know I’m finally recovering from double knee replacement surgeries this winter because I’m regaining my morbid sense of humor. I asked my husband today, “What happens to new knee joints when people are cremated? Does titanium melt?” He thought for a minute and surmised that what doesn’t melt in a crematorium is pulled out […]
My new knees will outlive me, or things to put in your pre-need funeral plan Read More »
My first eyebrow wax “How about an eyebrow wax today?” “Say wha…?” With my head immersed in the salon sink, those words offered casually by my stylist were a total shock after a relaxing scalp massage during my bi-monthly color and cut. She must have been taken aback by the look of pure panic above
Living life at large at 71… Read More »
Remember last week when I submitted those pie-in-the-sky suggestions for a new pandemic routine? Yeah, well, that list flew out the window today, thanks to the time change. We humans have a tough enough time adjusting to the ridiculous and artificial manipulation of the hours of the day. But consider how messed up our furry
When doggie routines get hacked by the time change Read More »
I’ve been scaring myself into the middle of next year. All it took was reading speculations in the press about new realities facing us as the economy begins to open up. Here’s what frightens me . . . • No spectator sports in big stadiums. •Colleges and universities gravitating to online classes entirely. • Social
Some Candid Covid Comments Read More »
These days we have more time to get in touch with ourselves through art, writing and music. We can talk to God or the walls or our fellow isolation inmates more often and on a deeper level.
Thank you, Hobby Lobby, for staying open Read More »
I did not check with my doctor until after the little capsules arrived. I know she tried not to laugh at me when she said, “You realize that nitrous oxide is basically Viagra, don’t you?”
Is there a 12-step program for Facebook video suckers? Read More »
I got a rude awakening last night while watching a special ET report on the HGTV show about the makeover of the Brady Bunch house in California. Original cast members reunited to decorate the home for the holidays, in much the same way they did as kids on the hit series. The scenes kept shifting
Happy holidays from an old, apron-wearing granny Read More »
In the course of a recent holiday luncheon with friends, and right after I had enjoyed my own ramekin of crème brule (sometimes we share our desserts), one of those so-called amigos remarked that sugar kills brain cells. Like a Grinch who had just spoiled my own Christmas, I snuck home in guilty silence to
Merry Christmas . . . now enjoy this poisonous treat Read More »
We’ve just crossed Halloween and All-Souls Day off the calendar, but that doesn’t stop a Baby Boomer like me from conjuring up new and irrational death fears. But at least I can laugh at myself in a sort of “whistling through the graveyard” manner. Through the years I’ve borrowed irrational fears from friends and made
Whistling through the graveyard: Some goofy death fears Read More »
After my husband died, eating a meal at home changed from a pleasant occasion to a little house of chagrin and horror. It morphed from being balanced nutrition, with at least one veggie and lots of conversation, into a lonely, tasteless thing you only do because you’re supposed to. Thanks to that new life change
Supersize me . . . I’m a widow Read More »
